Kipp Watson & Friends

This is verbatim what my brother Ed wrote to me in an email (no kidding):

Kipp:

I've now gotten to the video of your July performance,
and on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd rate it 7 (which is pretty good
for someone still just starting out in this difficult and sometimes
risky line of work).

When I was in charge of an office doing reports in the Foreign
Service, I often edited my staff's reports with a heavy hand, and
if any reporter took offense at my critique, I would say, "Every
great writer needs a great editor." So in that spirit, I offer the
following critique, hoping you won't take offense, and will find
it worth at least considering.

1. Style: My only suggestion is to take great care with your
diction. In this video and its two predecessors, some of your
punch-lines or other lines were a bit muffled and a few were
difficult to comprehend. Guard against speaking too rapidly,
or too loudly even when loudness is appropriate. (The best
comedians, from Jack Benny to Myron Cohen to Woody
Allen to Seinfeld, generally delivered their lines in a low-key,
slow-paced, conversational tone.)

2. Substance: Audiences want a comedian to make them
laugh, or at least chuckle. Some of your material was just
amusing, provoking no more than a silent smile. Frankly,
I didn't see what was funny at all in the bit about cockroaches,
and then ending your routine with the singing of La Cucaracha
--that was an anti-climax, and wasted a goodly bit of your very
limited time on stage. No one goes to hear a comedian sing
a song that's just a song, devoid of anything really humorous.

I do hope you'll take these comments in the brotherly spirit in which
they're given. I'm optimistic that with more experience you're going
to have a fine run (and I hope a rewarding one, financially as well as
psychologically). You deserve great credit for this undertaking.

Keep at it, stay well, and love to your girls.

Fondly, Ed