Kipp Watson & Friends

Family Stories

Kids never forget

Several years ago my brother Ed regaled his grandchildren with stories of me as a child. He even told them that I used to eat bugs and worms as a tot. His daughter Diana was driving 8 yr. Old Asher the other day to get some insect killer. When she told him where they were going, he said, “why not just call Uncle Irv?”

A hard to please Mom

Mom was once bitterly complaining about my sister Dell. Dell had taken her grocery shopping and when Mom’s bill was totaled, Dell unexpectedly paid it. I told Mom that Dell could afford it and derived pleasure from helping out. Mom said, “That’s not the point. Had I known she was paying, I would have bought much more.”

Fair is fair

When Debbie and Mark were 3 and 5 years old, respectively, Debs came into the house crying and said that mark had hit her. I summoned Mark and asked why he hit her. He said, “She hit me first.” I looked questioningly at Debbie and she said, “Yes, but he hit me back first.”

He heard what he heard

My best friend in High school, Bob, joined the debating team. Looking for topics, someone suggested euthanasia. Bob said, “Great, and next time we can talk about youth in Europe.”

In Kindergarden, Mom kept me home once for a reason I know longer remember. She sent me to school the following day w/o the mandatory note from her explaining my absence. In class, the teacher called on me to explain. I told her that I was sick. To my horror ( didn’t know many diseases), she then asked what sickness I had. After thinking quickly, I did remember hearing about one sickness and I replied, “I had a heart attack.” The class and the teacher let out a collective gasp. I near burst with pride that I had answered so wisely.

Brother Ron, as a child, had much difficulty with the English language. He once came home from school very excited. He told me that there was a kid in his class who spoke” worser than him”

I used to cook breakfast for my kids, Debbie and Mark, ages 5 and 7 at the time, and always served the female first. As I was preparing breakfast, I heard Debbie say to Mark, with a sneer, “I’m getting mine first.” Mark looked downtrodden and I attempted to remedy the situation by serving Mark first. Mark shot Debbie a look of pure glee as I set his plate before him, but Debbie wouldn’t be out done. She looked at him with a big “gotcha” smile and said, “I’m getting mine 2nd, not you.”

It doesn’t always pay to be nice

In Kindergarden, the girl next to me let out a resounding “piggy”. Sounded more like something an elephant might produce. Being the kind, caring person I am, I looked the other way, pretending I hadn,t heard it, so as not to embarrass her. To my horror, she looked directly at me, pinched her nose with thumb and forefinger, and said, P U!!!